Releasing Trauma-Related Emotions Through Yoga—A Saving Grace
By Lynda Wisdo, MA, CYT Yoga has been a part of my daily life since the autumn of 2001—over 21 years! While I first started studying yoga to help keep my aging body flexible, I soon found myself benefiting as much if not more from what this ancient practice does for me emotionally. With its ability to help practitioners release trapped energies and emotions from their minds and bodies, yoga has been a true Godsend through some pretty difficult times in my life—both in healing the wounds of my childhood trauma and in navigating a rather rocky menopause-related Spiritual Emergency back in 2005. But even with everything yoga has taught me over the years about emotions and healing, I have to admit I was pretty surprised when it stepped in yet again just recently to help me release the emotions from a whole new trauma. Back on October 26th, I had just finished eating dinner when my stomach suddenly didn’t feel right—some sort of pain and pressure all throughout my abdomen. Given my issues with food sensitivities and the fact that I had just eaten broccoli for the first time in a long time, I figured it was just bad gas and went on about my evening. I felt a bit better the next day, but something still wasn’t right. If this is gas, I thought, it’s really bad. Why is it lasting so long? Over the next couple of days, things continued to go downhill and by the morning of the 29th, I had completely lost my appetite and the pain and pressure were still there. Should I go to Urgent Care? I wondered, or should I skip it? Should I go, or shouldn’t I? I was more than a little grateful to have my son’s level-headedness and support as I struggled to make a decision that day. “What are you going to do if you don’t go to Urgent Care?” he asked. “Sit home and not eat for two more days?” Knowing my son was right, I decided to go to the ER at a local hospital. Thank the heavens I did. After running a few tests, the doctors determined that my bowel had become twisted, resulting in a blockage that needed immediate attention—immediate surgical attention. My life depended on it. Seeing as how I hadn’t been in a hospital since I gave birth to my twin sons 32 years earlier and never having had any type of major surgery, I was feeling pretty darned frightened. Sitting there in the ER, waiting for the surgeon to arrive, I could feel the fear and trauma of my situation bouncing around throughout my body, my thoughts racing--Emergency surgery? How could this be happening to me? What about everything at home? My cat? My daily walks and yoga practice? What about my job? With all my food and chemical sensitivities, will I even make it through the surgery? Even with all this fear and panic swirling around my mind, I did my best to remain as calm as possible, even joking around with my son and the ER doctors while we waited for the surgeon. Finally, the surgeon arrived and, much to my surprise and relief, I made it through the surgery just fine! After a few days of IV’s and daily walks through the hospital hallways, I was discharged and sent home to recuperate. There was a still a lot of physical healing to be done after I left the hospital and a lot of restrictions on my daily life to help with that healing, including restrictions on my daily yoga practice. No Up Dogs or Down Dogs for me, no Planks or Spinal Rolls either—at least for the time being. Fortunately, having spent a few years teaching Chair Yoga at a local community center, I had some experience modifying traditional yoga postures into gentle Chair Yoga sequences as well as a few insights into how important it is to listen to your body when doing so. Armed with this knowledge and so wanting to get back to some type of yoga, the morning after I got home from the hospital, I grabbed my yoga chair and sat down. Knowing I was extremely limited in what movements were safe for me and still exhausted from the surgery, my yoga session on that first day consisted of little more than fifteen minutes of “Chair Svasana” or “Chair Relaxation”, all the while reminding my shaky and still somewhat frightened self to breathe. The next day, feeling a bit better I decided to try adapting my usual daily floor practice into a gentle Chair Yoga session. I knew the movements so well—there had to be a way to practice them with limited movement while sitting in a chair. Feeling cautious and yet hopeful, again I grabbed my yoga chair and sat down. Gently now, I told myself. Move slowly…slowly. Seated Yogic Breaths, Alternate Nostril Breathing, Chair Cat/Cow, sequences of Chair Qigong. As I began to move, I immediately became aware of how much performing these modified postures and movements was helping me to feel more like myself…helping me to connect to the very deep parts of my mind and body that so resonate with the benefits of yoga. Little did I know how powerful some of those benefits were about to become. I was just coming out of a Chair Staff Pose and was bringing my hands into Dhyana Mudra when all at once, I felt something inside of me shift—some inner energies suddenly erupting within me. Not even a second later, not sure what was happening I began to wail…or to moan. No, actually, I think it was more like howling. Yes, howling—primal and raw, the energies and emotions from the trauma of my surgery ordeal suddenly pouring out of me in wave after wave of sound. As these mournful howls continued to roll out of my body, I realized that I could neither stop nor control them. Much like vomiting when something physical needs to be released, this emotional releasing had its own will, its own power, and its own timetable for completion. I howled and I howled, every now and then calling out to reassure my cat that I was okay—“Mommy’s just singing, Duddy!” Finally, after a few minutes the howling stopped and after three or four full yogic breaths, I was able to finish my morning Chair Yoga session, winding things down with a deeply relaxing round of “Chair Svasana”. As I stood up to put my yoga chair away, I could hardly believe how much lighter I felt…how much more able to move and breathe. Thanks to the emotional release gifted to me by my yoga practice that morning, I was feeling much more grounded and ready to focus on doing what I needed to do to heal from my surgery and get back to the busyness of life. Like many trauma survivors, I have a tendency to keep traumatic emotions bottled up inside… to not deal with them until years or even decades after the event that first sparked them has ended. This isn’t something I do consciously. It’s just how my psyche works. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have my daily yoga practice to help me access and release these emotions much sooner than I normally would and find my way to a place of renewed stability and balance. I’m sure this isn’t the last time the grace of yoga will step in to help me release some of my more challenging emotions—and I’m just as certain that the next time will leave me feeling just as astounded and blessed by the profound healing this ancient practice can bring. Should you find yourself experiencing powerful trauma- related emotions during your yoga practice (or any overpowering emotions) please consider enlisting the support a trauma- informed therapist and trauma- informed yoga instructor to support you in your healing. Namaste!!
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorLynda holds an MA degree in Transpersonal Studies/Spiritual Mentoring as well as certifications in Tarot, Yoga, Spiritual Hypnosis, and Reiki. Her goal is to offer support to women undergoing various feminine transitions through a variety of mind/body practices. Archives
March 2023
Categories |