Releasing Trauma-Related Emotions Through Yoga—A Saving Grace
By Lynda Wisdo, MA, CYT Yoga has been a part of my daily life since the autumn of 2001—over 21 years! While I first started studying yoga to help keep my aging body flexible, I soon found myself benefiting as much if not more from what this ancient practice does for me emotionally. With its ability to help practitioners release trapped energies and emotions from their minds and bodies, yoga has been a true Godsend through some pretty difficult times in my life—both in healing the wounds of my childhood trauma and in navigating a rather rocky menopause-related Spiritual Emergency back in 2005. But even with everything yoga has taught me over the years about emotions and healing, I have to admit I was pretty surprised when it stepped in yet again just recently to help me release the emotions from a whole new trauma. Back on October 26th, I had just finished eating dinner when my stomach suddenly didn’t feel right—some sort of pain and pressure all throughout my abdomen. Given my issues with food sensitivities and the fact that I had just eaten broccoli for the first time in a long time, I figured it was just bad gas and went on about my evening. I felt a bit better the next day, but something still wasn’t right. If this is gas, I thought, it’s really bad. Why is it lasting so long? Over the next couple of days, things continued to go downhill and by the morning of the 29th, I had completely lost my appetite and the pain and pressure were still there. Should I go to Urgent Care? I wondered, or should I skip it? Should I go, or shouldn’t I? I was more than a little grateful to have my son’s level-headedness and support as I struggled to make a decision that day. “What are you going to do if you don’t go to Urgent Care?” he asked. “Sit home and not eat for two more days?” Knowing my son was right, I decided to go to the ER at a local hospital. Thank the heavens I did. After running a few tests, the doctors determined that my bowel had become twisted, resulting in a blockage that needed immediate attention—immediate surgical attention. My life depended on it. Seeing as how I hadn’t been in a hospital since I gave birth to my twin sons 32 years earlier and never having had any type of major surgery, I was feeling pretty darned frightened. Sitting there in the ER, waiting for the surgeon to arrive, I could feel the fear and trauma of my situation bouncing around throughout my body, my thoughts racing--Emergency surgery? How could this be happening to me? What about everything at home? My cat? My daily walks and yoga practice? What about my job? With all my food and chemical sensitivities, will I even make it through the surgery? Even with all this fear and panic swirling around my mind, I did my best to remain as calm as possible, even joking around with my son and the ER doctors while we waited for the surgeon. Finally, the surgeon arrived and, much to my surprise and relief, I made it through the surgery just fine! After a few days of IV’s and daily walks through the hospital hallways, I was discharged and sent home to recuperate. There was a still a lot of physical healing to be done after I left the hospital and a lot of restrictions on my daily life to help with that healing, including restrictions on my daily yoga practice. No Up Dogs or Down Dogs for me, no Planks or Spinal Rolls either—at least for the time being. Fortunately, having spent a few years teaching Chair Yoga at a local community center, I had some experience modifying traditional yoga postures into gentle Chair Yoga sequences as well as a few insights into how important it is to listen to your body when doing so. Armed with this knowledge and so wanting to get back to some type of yoga, the morning after I got home from the hospital, I grabbed my yoga chair and sat down. Knowing I was extremely limited in what movements were safe for me and still exhausted from the surgery, my yoga session on that first day consisted of little more than fifteen minutes of “Chair Svasana” or “Chair Relaxation”, all the while reminding my shaky and still somewhat frightened self to breathe. The next day, feeling a bit better I decided to try adapting my usual daily floor practice into a gentle Chair Yoga session. I knew the movements so well—there had to be a way to practice them with limited movement while sitting in a chair. Feeling cautious and yet hopeful, again I grabbed my yoga chair and sat down. Gently now, I told myself. Move slowly…slowly. Seated Yogic Breaths, Alternate Nostril Breathing, Chair Cat/Cow, sequences of Chair Qigong. As I began to move, I immediately became aware of how much performing these modified postures and movements was helping me to feel more like myself…helping me to connect to the very deep parts of my mind and body that so resonate with the benefits of yoga. Little did I know how powerful some of those benefits were about to become. I was just coming out of a Chair Staff Pose and was bringing my hands into Dhyana Mudra when all at once, I felt something inside of me shift—some inner energies suddenly erupting within me. Not even a second later, not sure what was happening I began to wail…or to moan. No, actually, I think it was more like howling. Yes, howling—primal and raw, the energies and emotions from the trauma of my surgery ordeal suddenly pouring out of me in wave after wave of sound. As these mournful howls continued to roll out of my body, I realized that I could neither stop nor control them. Much like vomiting when something physical needs to be released, this emotional releasing had its own will, its own power, and its own timetable for completion. I howled and I howled, every now and then calling out to reassure my cat that I was okay—“Mommy’s just singing, Duddy!” Finally, after a few minutes the howling stopped and after three or four full yogic breaths, I was able to finish my morning Chair Yoga session, winding things down with a deeply relaxing round of “Chair Svasana”. As I stood up to put my yoga chair away, I could hardly believe how much lighter I felt…how much more able to move and breathe. Thanks to the emotional release gifted to me by my yoga practice that morning, I was feeling much more grounded and ready to focus on doing what I needed to do to heal from my surgery and get back to the busyness of life. Like many trauma survivors, I have a tendency to keep traumatic emotions bottled up inside… to not deal with them until years or even decades after the event that first sparked them has ended. This isn’t something I do consciously. It’s just how my psyche works. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to have my daily yoga practice to help me access and release these emotions much sooner than I normally would and find my way to a place of renewed stability and balance. I’m sure this isn’t the last time the grace of yoga will step in to help me release some of my more challenging emotions—and I’m just as certain that the next time will leave me feeling just as astounded and blessed by the profound healing this ancient practice can bring. Should you find yourself experiencing powerful trauma- related emotions during your yoga practice (or any overpowering emotions) please consider enlisting the support a trauma- informed therapist and trauma- informed yoga instructor to support you in your healing. Namaste!!
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So, here we are, poised at the start of another New Year! I can hardly believe how quickly the last one flew by. I suppose it really is true that the older we get, the faster time seems to pass. Or is this speeding up of time something we’re all experiencing, young and old, as our world and our Universe continue to change and evolve? There are some who postulate that time exists for us as a spiral with time moving faster and faster the closer we get to the center. If this truly is the case, would that mean that at some point, time will simply spin itself out and we’ll all find ourselves in another dimension where time no longer exists, where we no longer have to worry about running out of time? It certainly is an intriguing idea for the future, but for now, like it or not, in everything we do time is our constant companion, the ticking of the clock an ever- present reminder that we need to work as hard as we can to squeeze as much as we can into each 24 hour day. I don’t know about you but for me, this makes the idea of setting New Year’s Intentions a real necessity. Yes, that’s right, I said New Year’s intentions not resolutions. Why the change in terms, you ask? Why break with tradition? Well, if we look to the dictionary, a resolution is defined as “a firm decision to do or not do something,” meaning it’s a black and white issue…win or lose. You either lose the weight or you don’t, you either stop smoking or you don’t, you either end that unrewarding job or abusive relationship or you don’t. By definition, making a resolution seems to imply that the instant we step off the path, the instant we don’t do the something we resolved to do, the resolution is finished. Over. We’ve failed. An intention, on the other hand, is defined as “a thing intended, an aim or a plan”…a way of simply setting ourselves in a new direction. Unlike when we make a resolution, setting an intention seems to imply that even if we stray from our path a bit here and there (we eat that piece of cake or smoke that cigarette, fall back into the arms of our cheating lover), we can still keep heading in the new direction we’ve set for ourselves, aiming for our goal. We haven’t lost the game completely as is so often how we feel when we fail to meet the stringent demands of our resolutions. (Darn it all, I ate that piece of cake. Now I’ll never lose weight. I give up.) With an intention, there is no black or white, no win or lose scenario to throw us completely off course. If we stray, we simply brush ourselves off, take a deep breath and start heading down our path again. Our intention is still there, intact and perhaps even stronger than before because we’ve been able to learn something about ourselves. We’ve been able to learn what it is that made us stray from our path and lose sight of our intentions. Let’s face it, most of the changes we seek to make in our lives aren’t things that can be accomplished in a single step. (I resolve to eat only healthy foods.) They require a series of inner changes that take time and effort as well as forgiveness and compassion to bring to fruition. Much more flexible than your typical New Year’s Resolution, a New Year’s Intention offers not one but many paths to keep us moving toward our goals and, at the same time, keep us learning about ourselves. I find it intriguing that along with being defined as an “aim or plan” an intention is also sometimes defined as “the healing process of a wound.” That’s right, the healing process of a wound. If you’re like me, I’m sure you’ve discovered over the years that many of the things we struggle to change within ourselves, the habits we try to break, are often the result of some kind of past or current wounding. Perhaps we’re eating too much (or too little) because we’ve lost someone dear to us, or maybe because we’ve been abused or assaulted, emotionally, physically or sexually. Perhaps we’re smoking because of the bullying we experienced as children, episodes of playground cruelty that we haven’t yet been able to heal from. Whatever the event that first triggered our less than healthy habits, if we approach the changes we want to make in our lives with a sense of honesty and compassion, we might just find that the intentions we set for the New Year really do have the power to not only help us change but to help us heal as well. So, you’ve put the holiday decorations away. You’ve changed your calendar and turned a page in your journal. Time’s a’wasting…are you ready to start setting your New Year’s Intentions? SAYING GOOD-BYE TO BLUE 2/29/2020 Just wanted to check in to say how much the Tarot continues to amaze me. Sadly, this past weekend the time had come to help my precious 15-16 year old Flame Point Siamese cat, Blue transition to the next leg of his journey. He’d been struggling with a neurological condition since late fall—suddenly off balance, finding it difficult to walk and even find his food dish. He still had a voracious appetite, but for nearly 3 months I had to hold him steady in order for him to be able to eat his 3 cans of Fancy Feast a day. Unfortunately, things got really bad for him the last week of February as he had stopped eating and was losing weight fast. Broken hearted and afraid for his suffering, I made the appointment to help him transition for Saturday early afternoon. Needless to say, all morning I kept going back and forth with the decision—should I cancel it? Should I take him? What should I do? As luck would have it, I had just done a Tarot reading for my son that morning, so my cards were within reach. Desperate for guidance, I grabbed my Creatrix Oracle cards and started shuffling. To be honest, I really didn’t think the cards would offer me the guidance I was seeking—it was too important a decision to make, but I didn’t know what else to do. Finally, I drew a card and began crying the instant I looked at it. The card said, “You Hold the Key,” and dealt with issues surrounding decision and commitment. I was so overwhelmed by how deeply this card was speaking to me, I could hardly read the message from the guidebook to my son, I was crying so hard. Here’s some of what the card said: “…You have completed a segment of one aspect of your life…After careful consideration, make a decision and commit to that choice; then move into your new direction. Approach completions/endings with grace and humility as you open the door to new beginnings.” With that, I knew I had to stick to my decision to end Blue’s suffering and help him move on. The whole family was there in the room with him as he passed: both of my sons, their women-folk, and me. It was a wonderfully peaceful transition for Blue and thanks in part to that Oracle card, I know it was the right choice for me to make. I wish you the very best of life and love on this next leg of your journey, sweet Blue. See you at the Rainbow Bridge, my precious, precious friend! THOUGHTS ON THE TAROT MOON 7/8/2017 For the past several weeks, I’ve been doing a Tarot Challenge with some of my Tarot for Women friends, each day looking at one of the cards from the deck and seeing how its meaning fits in with our lives. Yesterday, our card to focus on was number 18 of the Major Arcana—The Moon. Ah, the Moon, the mysterious Moon…always changing, always cycling in and out of its many phases of light and dark, of beginnings and endings, all the while pulling the entirety of the Earth’s oceans along with it. Pretty powerful stuff! With July’s Full Moon rising in just a few hours, I thought I might share with you some of my thoughts on yesterday’s Tarot Moon Challenge-- "I too see the Moon as a symbol of feminine spirituality and feminine cycles, our fear of the Moon rising out of a culture that has long worked to deny the mystery and the power of the feminine, painting it with a face of subservience, weakness, and, at times, even evil. For me, the howling wolves on this card represent the mournful repression of the feminine—an ache that comes from the very depth of each woman's soul and her longing to have her power returned to her. The ancient creature we see rising out of the sea near the bottom of the card emerges with a hard outer shell and pincers—signifying a woman’s need to protect herself from the dangers she will encounter as she makes her way across a dry (emotionless) land. A difficult journey indeed!" Knowing we would be focusing on the Moon in our Tarot Challenge yesterday, I was surprised to draw the Queen of Pentacles and the Empress for my two morning cards, both symbols of powerful feminine energy--nurturing...giving birth...cycles... the wisdom of the Wise Woman Crone. As I look at these cards, I have to ask myself, what am I cycling out of at this time in my life? What am I cycling into? Only time will tell. Here in NY, the Full Moon for July comes at 12:06 am on Sunday, the 9th. Anyone want to come out and howl with me?? TAROT & THE CROSS OF THE WISE WOMAN 6/17/2017 (A version of this article was first published on the website for Tarot for Women, June 6, 2017) It was while making my way around a local Celtic Festival, complete with bagpipes and caber tosses, Irish step dancers and fiddle players, that I noticed a Tarot reader sitting among the vendors. I’d never had a Tarot reading before but was at my wits end, having spent the past two months battling an array of physical and emotional “disturbances” that had me confused, frightened and running from doctor to doctor, desperate for a diagnosis—a racing pulse, skyrocketing blood pressure, intense trembling, hot flashes, cold flashes, and night after night of little to no sleep. Terrified I might be dying from some dreaded disease and hoping the Tarot reader might be able to shed some light on my situation, I approached her table and reached into my wallet. “I…I was wondering if you might be able to help me,” I said, handing her a few sweat-covered bills. “I…I have something wrong with me…something physical. I keep going to all of these doctors.” The woman eyed me curiously, asked a few questions, then sat down and drew some cards. Although I can’t, for the life of me, remember which cards the woman laid on that table that day, or a word of what she said about them, I do remember the simple advice she offered me as I gathered myself up to leave. “You’re going to need to find a new way of taking care of yourself,” the woman said, looking into my eyes. “It’s not so much about going to all of the doctors. It’s about finding a new way of taking care of yourself.” “I see,” I mumbled, then stood up and hurried back into the crowd. Although it would take a few more months of shaking and sweating, a few more doctors’ visits and even a brief trip to a psychiatric hospital, in time I came to realize just how right that Tarot reader was. Come to find out, I wasn’t dying from some dreaded disease and neither had I lost my mind. What I was experiencing was actually a type of healing crisis, a mind/body healing crisis known in Transpersonal Psychology as a Spiritual Emergency or Spiritual Crisis. While there are many different situations that can trigger a Spiritual Emergency, things like deep meditation or prayer, childbirth, or even a near-death experience, for me it was the hormonal changes of menopause and my history of childhood trauma that led to my midlife “breakdown,” or rather, my midlife break-through. The reason I say “break-through,” is that according to many women’s health experts, the years of perimenopause (the eight or so years before a woman’s menstrual cycles cease) can actually be a time of profound healing. It’s a time when a woman’s mind, body, and spirit begin working to release the unprocessed emotions and energies from her past so that she might enter the next stage of life, the Wise Woman stage, with a sense of renewal. For women who have experienced some type of trauma or injustice, this time of healing can be especially challenging as the mind and body are likely to be overloaded with unprocessed energies, leading to perimenopausal issues that may become difficult to manage. It is at this point that the menopausal transition has the potential of becoming a true crisis or Spiritual Emergency. Hot flashes, cold flashes, insomnia, a racing heart, mood swings, feelings of outright madness—these are just some of the challenges a midlife woman might experience as her mind and body begin working to release the long-held emotions and energies from her past during midlife. What’s important to keep in mind is that perimenopause is a temporary stage, not a permanent one, so many of the mind/body challenges a woman may be experiencing will, in time, begin to fade, as long as the woman is careful to honor what she is feeling and takes the steps necessary to help her heal. As a way of offering some support in this process, I’ve created a Tarot spread specifically designed for the menopausal passage and the years beyond. I call this spread The Cross of the Wise Woman. The intention of The Cross of the Wise Woman is to offer the midlife woman insights into the ways in which the issues from her past may be affecting her in the present and to determine what inner strengths she might use to assist her on her journey. Depending on how deeply a woman might wish to explore her issues, I’ve created several variations of this spread ranging from four cards to eleven. The four-card version is as follows: Card #1—The issue from your past that is having the most influence on your current menopausal challenges. Card #2—Where you are with this issue today. Card #3—The steps you might take to help resolve this issue and clear some of the emotions and energies you’ve been carrying. Oracle Card—The energies to focus on that would give you the most benefit at this point on your menopausal journey. Once a woman is able to identify some of the issues that may be contributing to her midlife challenges, she becomes better equipped to understand what she is going through and to release the emotions and energies that may be adding to her distress. Some of the mind/body practices that may be helpful during this time of transition include yoga, Chi Kung or other types of movement, dream exploration, journaling and creative writing, massage therapy, various types of group support, and one-on-one talk therapy or counseling. As every woman is different, the best advice is to find what works for you and stick with it. It may take some time but, little by little, you’ll find yourself feeling a bit calmer, a bit saner…a bit lighter, and a bit less burdened by the past. Today, nearly twelve years after that Celtic Festival and the early days of my crisis, I remain amazed by how spot on that Tarot reader’s advice was. I really did need to find a new way of taking care of myself, a way that would honor the amazing transformation I was undergoing and the Wise Woman I was becoming. For those of you who may just be starting out on your midlife journey and feeling a little less than enchanted by the whole process, do try to trust that better times are on their way. If you’re anything like me, they may even be some of the best times of your life! Many Blessings, Lynda *Because of the very profound way in which the mind and body are changing during perimenopause, should a woman be experiencing any midlife issues she is concerned about she should always see a doctor, preferably one with an understanding of perimenopause as a rite of passage and healing journey. This will enable her to rule out any conditions that may require medical intervention. TAROT WISDOM 1/1/2016 It’s hard to believe that we’ve rolled out the carpet to greet yet another New Year. Welcome 2016! Only ten hours into it, I’ve already written in my journal, had my morning walk, finished my daily yoga practice and my Friday morning Total Gym routine, and am about to swallow the last spoonful of my creamy buckwheat cereal breakfast. I’ve checked my emails and perused the internet for today’s help-wanted ads as well as a few positive tidbits of world news (not always so easy to find). And in between all of these steps I take every morning to propel me into my day, I’ve also taken the time to lay out the cards for my monthly Tarot reading. Ah, leave it to the wisdom of the Tarot to give me something to think about on this first day of 2016. And yet, I have to wonder, should it really have come as such a surprise for me to see the IX of Wands staring at me yet again this morning? Probably not, since, to be honest, this is the third time in the past three days that I’ve had this card come up in my daily readings. The third time! Clearly, someone is trying to tell me something. Just looking at the man on the face of this card, it is easy to see that this is a soul who has seen his share of struggles in life. Bruised and bandaged, the man leans heavily on his staff, his gaze affixed on something off in the distance, something off to his right. Could it be the battles that lie ahead of him that have caught the man’s attention…battles that will continue to challenge him in the days ahead? From the tiny sprigs of green growth one can see on the eight staffs that surround the man, it seems clear that he has been successful in overcoming many of his earlier struggles…life is beginning anew. And if one looks closely enough and is insightful enough, it becomes clear that the staff the man is holding in his hands, the staff that seems to represents his most recent struggles, is likely to become the very thing to support him as he continues on his journey. His struggles have become his strength. Yes, although the man on the IX of Wands may appear to be paralyzed by feelings of fear and fatigue, the direction of his gaze tells us that he is not finished yet. Strengthened by the successes and setbacks of his past, after a brief moment to collect his thoughts and energy, without a doubt he will soon be on his way. Hmmmm…. As I close out the energies of the old year and set my sights on the new, I can see the many ways in which I am very much like the man we see on the face of the IX of Wands. I have encountered a few struggles this past year and have to admit that I am somewhat wounded and weary, apprehensive as I set my sights on the challenges that lie ahead. (All right, maybe even a bit terrified at times.) And yet, I know that, like the man on the IX of Wands, it’s the struggles of the past that have given me the strength and wisdom I’ll need to sustain and guide me into the future and through the many ups and downs that the days, weeks, and months of 2016 hold. No doubt about it, it’s a challenging world for all of us, so I’m hoping that the wisdom I’ve found in the IX of Wands this morning will also hold some meaning for many of you as well. Perhaps some of you reading this will find that all of the struggles you’ve had to deal with in the past, the setbacks and successes, have not only strengthened you but have brought you all of the wisdom you’ll need to meet both the challenges and celebrations that lie ahead. Here’s hoping for the very brightest, safest, and healthiest 2016 for all! HEALING THE AFTEREFFECTS OF TRAUMA WITH SPIRITUALITY 10/17/2015 (Another version of this post was first published in a newsletter for Many Voices Press) Spirituality…I truly don’t think I’d be here today without my unwavering belief that there is something larger than all of this, something beyond me and my past traumas that gives my life meaning, that gives all of our lives meaning. I can trace this belief all the way back to my childhood when I first began to believe that the rays pouring out from behind the clouds were the light of God. Must have been an idea I got from a painting or photograph; still, it stuck in my mind and remains with me even today as I watch the sunset outside my window and am, as always, filled with awe. I can remember one day in particular from my childhood, a day when I was about five- years old when my spirituality really began to take hold. After escaping from some episode of domestic trauma that was going on inside my house, I ran outside into the front yard, looked up at the sky and saw a jet, way up at the top of all of that blue. Instantly I felt that if there could be something so incredible, something so very far away from me and all of my family turmoil, I could hold on to that far away place and keep a part of my soul safe there (early threads of dissociation I suppose). Ever since that day, I’ve felt that if I could just see a piece of the sky, or the summit of some mountain off in the distance, or even a turkey vulture in flight, I could make it…that I could somehow be okay. Ten years ago, however, right smack in the middle of an intense “psycho-spiritual crisis,” I was about as far from okay as I could possibly be. It was during the summer of 2005 at the beginning of perimenopause (the eight or so years before the menstrual cycles cease) that, all of a sudden, all of my coping mechanisms began to collapse, both around me and within me. As my mind and my body suddenly began releasing much of the terror, grief, and shame I’d been holding onto related to my abuse, I found myself plummeting into the most terrifying and yet liberating experience of my life, an experience I never could have survived without my spirituality. All day and all night my hands and my body shook. My pulse, usually around 65 beats per minute or so, began racing somewhere around 100, and my blood pressure, normally around 110/65, had begun churning out readings as high as 178/100. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep. Why, I could barely even think. It took all the concentration I could muster to perform even the simplest of tasks, things like making my sons’ lunch and doing the laundry. I was afraid to take a shower, afraid to be alone, and terrified that I would take my own life. Even with all of this chaos and fear swirling around inside me, I held fast to my spirituality and continued to pray—to God, yes, but also to the inner and outer healing guides, angels, if you will, who I could sense were trying to help me. Days passed, weeks, and then months, and still, even with my prayers the upheaval continued. I must be dying, I thought helplessly. What else could it be? I must be dying! Finally, exhausted and growing more and more suicidal by the day, that October I decided to sign myself into an acute care psychiatric hospital. It was there that I finally began to accept the fact that it was not some dreaded physical illness causing all of my inner and outer “disturbances,” and neither was it any sort of mental illness. It was the emotions I’d been holding onto related to my history of childhood abuse, abuse that I was only just beginning to remember. And so, with the help of regular sessions of talk and hypno-therapy, massage, movement, writing and group therapy, yoga and Chi Kung, I began my long awaited journey toward integration, healing, and wholeness. As many of you who are healing from similar abuse-related traumas know, this journey has not been an easy one. There are many moments, so many moments when returning memories and long hidden feelings of grief, shame, and fear still threaten to steal away my newly found feelings of safety and sanity. While I have many tools to help me through these moments now, I remain amazed by how often my simply being able to admit to myself, to God, and to my inner and outer healing guides that I am afraid has brought me comfort, reassurance, and the blessed ability to move forward with my day. Growing up in an abusive family, I was not allowed to give voice to feelings of shame, grief, or fear and so I internalized these emotions, turning them over the years into episodes of anorexia, bulimia, self-inflicted violence, anxiety, panic, and tendencies toward dissociation. Today I can see that it is only by embracing and ultimately releasing these long repressed emotions and energies that I have been able to heal my mind, body, and spirit, one memory at a time, one tear at a time. I think many of our difficulties with spirituality arise from our long held belief that it is something that exists outside of ourselves, something unreachable and angry that we need to fear, much like the perpetrators who wounded us as children. Through my studies of hypnosis, dream work, and the subconscious mind, however, I have come to believe that our spirituality or “higher power” is something that exists deep within each one of us and that it exists simply as the abundance of memory, wisdom, and faith that each of us needs to reclaim our lives and heal. It is there whether we are able to believe in it or not, and whether we feel we are able to access its power or not. So, if you’re feeling so inclined, why not take a moment or two and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and turn your attention inside. Notice what you’re feeling. No need to judge or try to change these feelings, just notice them. Take another deep breath and say these words whether your believe them or not, even if, or rather especially if it makes you cry-- “I am taking back my power!” And again. “I am taking back my power!” And again, and again, and again, until you do believe them and until you believe with all your heart and soul that you have both the right and the ability to reclaim the power that was stolen from you and heal. Wishing all of us much hope and wholeness on our journeys, Lynda Wisdo, MA FURIOSA AND THE FEMININE MIDLIFE PASSAGE or ANOTHER TAKE ON THE STORY BEHIND THE MOVIE~ FURY ROAD 6/22/15 CAUTION….SPOILER ALERT! Every Sunday, my sons, their girlfriends, and I all go to the movies. (Yes, I do realize that I’m a bit of a fifth wheel in this group, but as long as these kind young folks will have me, I’ll continue to tag along.) While many weeks, it’s some independent film we go to see, movies like The Last Station, A Separation, and Wadjda, a couple of weeks ago we decided to hit the local Lyceum to take in the latest blockbuster, Mad Max: Fury Road. I have to admit, even though I might have seen some of the previous three Mad Max films, I can’t recall anything about them: plots, characters, sound tracks. Not a thing. I’m not sure whether this is due to something about the movies themselves or to my midlife forgetfulness—perhaps a bit of both. Either way, at first, this fourth venture into the life of Mad Max seemed to be yet another film I would do best to let slip from my memory banks, its opening scenes riddled with bizarre car chases, blinding explosions, and angry men preying ruthlessly, savagely on those they deemed less powerful. Dear God, I can remember thinking as I shifted in my seat, not two hours of this! Of course, I did find Furiosa (the main female character) and her closely-cropped hairstyle intriguing. The same goes for the control over the water supply by the apocalyptic society’s ruler, Immortan Joe; but since I hadn’t been sleeping all that well the previous few nights, to be honest I was seriously considering taking a nap. Then, just as I was starting to doze, I heard something in the film that snagged me right out of my slumber and into a state of total alertness. I heard Furiosa mention something about a place that sounded strikingly familiar to me, a place I thought might just hold the key to the meaning behind the entire movie. “Oh, my gosh,” I half gasped/half whispered as I pulled myself out of my reverie. “It’s Avalon! ‘The Green Place of the Many Mothers that Furiosa woman is talking about… it sounds just like The Isle of Avalon!” Now, to be clear, it wasn’t anything about the traditional concept of Avalon that had me making this connection between it and Furiosa’s Green Place, and neither was it anything about the King Arthur legends from which the whole idea of the place first sprang. (For any similarities between those concepts and the movie, I’m afraid you’re going to need to refer to a different blog.) For me, it was the significant role this mystical place can play in the lives of midlife women that had me suddenly wide awake and watching, or, more specifically, in lives of women undergoing the sometimes-dreaded feminine midlife rite of passage—menopause. “Why, that’s ridiculous!” I can hear many of you gasping. “Mad Max is an apocalyptic war-movie, not a movie about menopause!” Perhaps, but bear with me for a moment or two as I endeavor to sway you… Amid all of the vehicle chases and explosions in this episode of Mad Max, amid all of its cruelty and mad-men confusion, we see Furiosa (flawlessly portrayed by Charlize Theron) as a woman trying desperately, furiously to liberate the “breeders” or maidens and mothers of this lost society from the men who have enslaved and raped them. From the outset, it’s easy to see that Furiosa is not one of these women forced into sex and reproduction, and neither is she one of those who sits tied to milking machines as her breast milk is harvested for the benefit of her captors. Oh, no—with her head closely shaved and having lost her left arm to some cruel apocalyptic deed or another, Furiosa is clearly a woman living outside the demands of this type of “maiden and motherhood,” a woman endowed with a much different mission. Once Furiosa has the “breeders” tucked away inside the belly of the rig she’s hijacked to rescue them, she starts heading for the one place she feels certain will save them all…a community of women where the land is rich and fertile and where water is not kept under lock and key but flows freely—The Green Place of Many Mothers. “I was born there,” Furiosa replies when Max asks how she knows The Green Place even exists. As you might have already guessed, this strong woman of conviction and grace didn’t leave the green place of her youth, the place of abundant water, trees, and life, voluntarily. “I was taken as a child,” Furiosa goes on to tell Max. “Stolen.” Having tried many times in the past to return to The Green Place, now with war-rig and maidens and mothers in tow, Furiosa sees this current attempt as her best and perhaps last chance to reach her destination. And what a difficult journey this last attempt is, fraught with even more bizarre car chases, more explosions, and more angry men preying on those less powerful. That’s all very interesting, you may be thinking. But what on Earth could all of this rescue mission stuff possibly have to do with menopause and The Isle of Avalon? Well, believe it or not, according to some researchers the menopausal woman is also on a type of “rescue mission,” a rescue mission in which she is charged to liberate her inner “maiden and mother” from the wounds and injustices of her youth. That’s right. Menopause is actually a healing journey designed to help all midlife women release the negative energies and emotions of their pasts so that they might begin the next chapter of their lives, the wise-woman crone chapter, renewed and ready to use their wisdom to help bring healing to world. For some women, this journey is a rather easy one, with only a few inner “disturbances” to let them know their day of reckoning has come—a couple of hot flashes and maybe a mood swing or two. For women who come to midlife carrying an especially heavy load of injustices, however, injustices like past episodes of rape and sexual abuse, the midlife journey may not be quite so simple. Hot flashes, cold flashes, feelings of electricity, waves of terror, anxiety so severe as to make insanity the only explanation, heart palpitations, skyrocketing blood pressure, constant trembling, insomnia for nights on end—as research has shown, for women who are carrying unprocessed episodes of trauma in their psyches, the releasing of long held energies and emotions related to their abuse through these types of mind/body “disturbances” can become painfully challenging, requiring the same type of dedication we see in Furiosa in order to make sense of their experiences and heal. And, since this is the final of the three feminine rites of passage (menstruation and motherhood being the earlier two), as with Furiosa, this time of midlife transformation is also often seen as a woman’s last chance to use her hormonal gateways as a vehicle for her inner healing. According to some women’s mystery stories, the only way a woman will be able to make it through this challenging midlife journey safely is to return to the place from which she first came, the place that some legends, and even a few recent authors, tell us all women first came, an inner realm known as the Isle of Avalon. Ah, Avalon. Based on what ancient legends tell us, Avalon is a place of magic and priestesses where the land is always rich with abundance and growth, yielding fruit even where no field has been plowed or planted. Based on women’s mystery stories, it’s a place to which all midlife women must return in order to unite their inner maiden, mother, and elder woman and be made whole again, an inner place of beauty and wisdom that, at least to this newly awakened crone, sounds much like Furiosa’s Green Place of Many Mothers. And, from what I can see, there seem to be plenty of other interesting feminine/menopausal symbols throughout this Mad Max film as well-- For instance, there’s the whole "scarcity of water" thing, or rather, the withholding of water from the rest of the people by Immortan Joe. Seeing how water is considered to be a feminine element, in addition to the biological need, this king patriarch may also be working to withhold the whole of feminine power from the people, the power it holds for creating and nurturing life. There seems to be plenty of water being held inside the Earth (another feminine symbol; ie, Mother Earth), but fearing that access to it will empower the masses and dethrone him, like the chastity belts used to control the “breeders” and the wealth of feminine power they hold, Joe keeps the water under lock and key. Then there’s the old tree we see in the desert, wasting away and dying. “…that thing…” one of the men calls it, obviously never having seen one. “It’s a tree,” one of the women replies, trying to enlighten the man. “A tree.” Image from pdpics.com In Jungian psychology, a tree represents both the masculine and feminine elements—the feminine in the protective and sheltering aspects of the branches and the masculine in the phallic nature of the trunk. In all of its beauty, gracefulness and strength, a tree is believed to represent the integration of the masculine and feminine, a place where the two are balanced and equal…yin and yang…light and dark…Adam and Eve…The Tree of Life. Funny how the man in the film, awash in the rules and regulations of the patriarchy, is unable to even recognize the tree, unable to recognize that the possibility for any sort of balance and equality between the masculine and feminine even exists. Then, there are the two men who become the women’s unlikely allies in the film, Max and Nux. Or, should I say, the animus of the women’s journey? According to Jungian psychology, the animus represents the masculine essence that resides within each woman and the anima the feminine essence that dwells within each man. During menopause, it is the woman’s animus that rises up to help guide her on her journey and give her the strength she needs to do the work of her inner healing. In women’s mystery stories, the vessel by which the midlife woman is able to make the journey to Avalon is a barge she summons from the depths of her subconscious, her inner masculine or animus at the helm. For Furiosa, it’s an apocalyptic war-rig that carries her, with Max, in true animus form, ultimately offering the blood, sweat, and tears, indeed, the very life force that enables her to continue on her journey. If we stop and take a good look at our own world, it is easy to see the many ways in which Mother Earth appears to be going through her own challenging midlife transformation. All around us, the effects of climate change and man-made destruction are taking their toll: a disappearing icecap, more flooding in Texas, oceans so polluted that we must limit our intake of seafood, another earthquake, another oil spill, record breaking cold waves and heat waves in dozens of states (think hot flashes and cold flashes), and droughts and wildfires so severe that they have left thousands of people out of work and homeless. Might some of these severe global “disturbances” we’re experiencing actually be signs of a midlife Mother Earth trying to purge herself of the effects of the patriarchy and heal? In Mad Max, we see Furiosa’s Green Place similarly devastated, so much so that when she finally arrives she can no longer even recognize it, the stuff of its youthful beauty and bounty lost forever. It’s the wise crones, The Vulvalini, who advise Furiosa of the sanctuary’s fall and then sign on to assist her and the “breeders” on the second half of their journey. Thankfully, a new place of growth and healing lies just ahead. “They’re looking for hope,” Furiosa tells Max of the maidens and mothers. “What about you?” Max counters. Furiosa’s reply is simple and clear-- “Redemption.” Ah, yes, redemption... As the writing on the walls of the caves from which Furiosa first rescues the “breeders” proclaims, “We are not things.” Did you see that? Did you hear it? We are NOT things. While all of the messages in this Mad Max adventure reach out of the film and straight into the heart of our culture, this one does so without even the slightest hint of metaphor or archetypal camouflage. The message is clear and unyielding. “We are not things.” The “breeders” are not things. Women are not things. Children are not things, and neither are men or any people. We are not things to be bought and sold into lives of slavery and used as objects, sexual or otherwise. And yet this type of heinous crime continues in countries across the globe. Must it take our own apocalyptic ride down Fury Road for us to finally realize what we’re doing and stop the madness? At the conclusion of this Mad Max film, we see Furiosa and her kins-women rising high above the masses, the water flowing freely once again as Max withdraws silently into the crowd. At least to this movie-goer, this scene comes through as a clear symbol for the rising of the Sacred Feminine and the receding of the patriarchy, the patriarchy not disappearing completely, mind you, but receding only enough to achieve a sense of long needed balance and equality between the two—between man and woman…the masculine and the feminine…The Tree of Life. Furiosa, a woman entering her rightful place of midlife power, standing side by side with the maidens, mothers, and crones who helped her find her way—the three faces of The Sacred Feminine united and poised to help lead both man and womankind into a new place of understanding, wisdom, and grace. I see the movie Mad Max: Fury Road as a story about feminine spirituality, transformation, and empowerment, about women and the Earth itself fighting to reclaim what has been stolen from them during the thousands of years of patriarchy’s rule; patriarchy pertaining not so much to gender as to a certain mindset, an attitude which so many of us seem to have, men and even some women, that overemphasizes masculine power to the point of disavowing and even destroying that of the feminine. It’s a story about a culture desperate for the rejuvenating, life-giving waters of a transformed Mother Earth, about the men and women who struggle to coexist there, and the wisdom that the Divine Feminine holds for all of us…a wisdom that might well be the very thing we need to save us from our own apocalyptic end. Furiosa and The Redemption of The Feminine Midlife Passage. This is what I saw in this Mad Max film. With all of its symbols and hidden meanings, I’d love to hear…what did you see? **For more information about The Isle of Avalon and the menopausal journey, please see The Seven Sacred Rites of Menopause by Kristi Meisenbach-Boylan and Avalon Within by Jhenah Telyndru. |
AuthorLynda holds an MA degree in Transpersonal Studies/Spiritual Mentoring as well as certifications in Tarot, Yoga, Spiritual Hypnosis, and Reiki. Her goal is to offer support to women undergoing various feminine transitions through a variety of mind/body practices. Archives
March 2023
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